Wednesday, March 29, 2017

New Audiobook - Warden (Book 1: Wendigo Fever)

Continuing with my plans to produce audio versions of everything, the audiobook of Warden (Book 1: Wendigo Fever) has just been released.


Needless to say, I am still having a wonderful time seeing my work brought to life in this medium. (I'm also forunate to have found an excellent narrator, Mikael Naramore.)  In my own humble opinion, it turned out great.

The next audiobook will probably be Extraction.  On a side note, I'm currently in the process of selecting a narrator for Amped.  It's a very challenging process, as I've had the good fortune to have quite a few people submit auditions and many of them are outstanding. All things considered, it's a good problem to have.  Making a final selection, however, is just incredibly difficult. 

In other news, I'm still working on the next book in the Fringe Worlds series and hope to have it finished soon.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Whatever Happened to Standing Behind Your Product?

So a few weeks ago I'm grinding away as usual (trying to finish the next book), when Mrs. Wonderful comes to me and says that our printer - an HP Officejet 6600 - isn't working.  Needless to say, she expected me to fix it.  This is actually standard operating procedure in the Hardman household:  if anything isn't working, hubby will know how to get it going again.  Oddly enough, this is a marked departure from her attitude when when first started dating, at which time she admittedly made an unwarranted and unsupported assumption that repairing things was outside my wheelhouse.  (If I remember correctly, she said that I "just didn't seem 'handy'," which is code for saying that I seemed like a smart guy, so there was no way I had any practical skills. In truth, however, I've been taking things apart and repairing them since I was in elementary school.)  It didn't take long to convince her otherwise, so these days when it comes to fixing things, in my wife's mind I'm like:





But back to the printer.  Just to see what was going on, I tried to print a page from the current manuscript I was working on.  I could hear the thing trying to do its job: mechanisms inside of it were apparently moving, gears were turning, etc.  Ultimately though, it just made a whole lot of noise without really doing anything.  (Hmmm... Note to self: try to make use of that last line in an upcoming romance (preferably in a bedroom scene) to be published under a pen name...)

Anyway, I tried to print again, but this time I peeked into the compartment that held the paper to see what was going on. I saw a mechanical arm descend with two rollers on the end.  The rollers touched the printer paper, but then nothing happend (other than the printer making a lot of noise again).  The problem was obviously the rollers, which were supposed to turn, thereby feeding the paper from the tray into the printer.

I reached into the printer and felt around until I got my fingers on the rollers (which I believe are technically known as the "pick rollers").  Guess what? They turned without any issues.  They weren't stuck, clogged up in some way, nothing.  In fact, all the cogs and wheels in that area seemed to turn without issue, so the problem was elsewhere.  (All of this stuff is sorta in what I'd call the undercarriage of the printer, so I had to get a mirror to see what the hell was going on in there.)  

I got online and looked up the problem, and was directed almost immediately to HP's web site. The company actually has a video and lots of instructions about things to do when your printer isn't working. Long story short, I soon found myself with a bowl of distilled water, some Q-tips, and a cloth, all of which I used to gently and lovingly wipe down a bunch of the printer's rollers, which I gained access to after opening up the back and taking some parts out. Nevertheless, after all of that TLC, the damn thing still didn't work. 

At this juncture, my wife got on the phone with the store we'd bought the printer from.  They told her that we needed to buy a new one.

Huh???  F**k that!!!  

I raged that I'd take it apart first, and if I completely screwed it up we'd be no worse off, because - per the experts - we'd still need a new printer!

But before taking a crowbar to the printer's chassis, I went online again to see if other people had had this problem.  (Couldn't just be me, right?)  Sure enough, this was a common issue with this printer model.  Thankfully, however, someone had discovered the source of the problem: apparently there's a little plastic cog that sits on a metal rod on the printer's undercarriage.  The part of the rod where it sits is grooved so that the cog fits onto it, and the cog needs to be in that exact position when the rod spins in order to interact with a daisy chain of other wheels and cogs (see pic below) that ultimately causes the pick rollers to turn.






In our case, the cog had slipped off the grooved area, so that when the rod turned nothing happened. It was the work of about a minute to get the cog back in position, and voila!  The printer was back in top form (and my wife loved me again).  But three days later, the cog had once again slipped off...  This time, I superglued it to the grooved portion of the rod, which was a complete pain because - as mentioned before - all of this crap is on the undercarriage.  (One of the other people who posted online about this issue used epoxy, but whatever will keep the cog is place will apparently do the trick.)  We've had no printer problems since.

Now we come to the part of this entire scenario that really bothers me.  This is obviously a design flaw, as evidenced by the fact that it's a pretty common problem that - as far as I can tell - is completely unrelated to ordinary wear and tear.  HP could probably fix it by doing the same thing I did: just glue the cog in place (or do something to make sure it doesn't move out of position).  Or they could just tell their retailers that if anyone reports this type of problem they'll fix it for free.  Bottom line, though, is this: they need to be willing to stand behind their product.  Instead, I'm supposed to buy a new printer because of a flaw related to a part that probably cost 10 cents!  Seems to me that somebody is making out like a bandit in that sequence of events - and it ain't the Hardmans.

More to the point, I'd think HP would be interested in not losing customers because of these types of incidents.  Frankly speaking, because of this experience, I will probably never buy another HP product as long as I live.  (Not to get on my high horse, but I'm so disgusted that I might even sell the HP stock that I own.)  On the flip side, if they had made even a token gesture it would have been worth noting.  For example, when Tivo cancelled my "Lifetime: service, they at least had the good grace to offer me a $75 gift card. In other words they tried to soften the blow.  HP, on the other hand, just hit me on the back of the head with a sock full of pennies.  Not only that, but they apparently expect me to like it and ask for more, a la Kevin Bacon in Animal House:




 



Needless to say, that's not likely to happen.  I don't think I'm asking for much, though.  I just want companies to stand their product. (Instead of behind me with a paddle...)


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Opportunity Knocks

I have a friend with a very interesting problem.  She and her husband are entrepreneurs who own several ventures.  For a while now, their business interests have required them to essentially live in different states. However, they're tired of making the airlines rich with constant travel to see each other, and her husband really needs her help with the portion of the business that he's running.

Long story short, my friend has essentially decided to step back from the venture she manages and hand the keys over to someone else.  The job description reads something like this:


Business manager needed. Six-figure salary. Job requirements: high school diploma; honest character, excellent work ethic.


Believe it or not, she's having trouble filling this position.  Ideally, she's hoping to find someone from her family to bring in (although I don't think she'd be adverse to hiring the right person if she came across them randomly).  However, her own kids have their own careers that they are pursuing. Other relatives that are ostensibly suitable either don't have the right work ethic or don't want to move. (None of my friend's relatives live in the state where her business is located.)


Frankly, I'm surprised that everyone isn't fighting tooth and nail for this position.  I mean, the job isn't rocket science at all.  The ability to read and perform some basic math are required, but it's far from complicated. And it's located in a major city, not some remote outpost in the wilderness.  Basically, the job is almost all pros, with very few - if any - cons. Nevertheless, no one that my friend has talked to seems to be excited about it.  In short, it's like opportunity is knocking and no one wants to open the door.

To a certain extent, I understand this: people get in their comfort zone and don't want to make a change.  Maybe they already have a job that they've held for a while and can practically sleepwalk through their daily routine. Thus, they aren't interested in shaking things up - even for considerably higher pay.  Or perhaps they have a significant other and worry about how relocation will affect their relationship. Or maybe they've just never been west of the Mississippi, south of the Mason-Dixon line, or what have you, and are worried about how they'll cope without a familiar support system.  Again, while I can understand these points of view, it just strikes me that they grossly limit one's potential. As the old adage says: nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Looking at this from the standpoint of writing, I see indie authors every day who are still failing to take advantage of every opportunity presented to them.  For instance, there are those who only publish ebooks, forgetting almost entirely about the market for print.  Likewise, there are those who ignore the growing market for audiobooks (and I confess that I was one of them, but now find myself a convert).  In essence, if you're an author, you need to be selling on all fronts.

Granted, it's a little more work to put yourself in position to take advantage of many of the opportunities that are out there (and will take you out of your comfort zone in many instances), but the tremendous upside makes it worth it, in my opinion.  Plus, you don't want to look back at some point and realize that you missed a golden opportunity somewhere along the way.  But maybe it's like Thomas Edison said:

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." 

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

New Release: Mouse's Tale (An Alpha League Supers Novel)

At long last, the novel about Mouse - Kid Sensation's mentor - has finally been released. Mouse's Tale (An Alpha League Supers Novel) went live last night (and almost in record time).


Those familiar with my Kid Sensation series will probably notice one thing right away: the subtitle here is a little different than the one I used with Amped, the companion novel to the series that was released last summer (and which was aptly subtitled A Kid Sensation Companion Novel).  

Basically, I had a lot of ideas coming at me when I wrote this one, and some seemed better suited - and could be fleshed out in more detail - in other books.  (Truth be told, I've had numerous concepts popping into my brain about this book ever since the notion of writing it first occurred to me.) In short, this novel may also mark the debut of a new series that focuses more on the adult members of the Alpha League.

As always, however, I had fun writing this one and providing a little more detail about Mouse and his abilities, which is something I'm sure readers have been eager to learn more about, since he appears to lack any discernable super powers.

In other news, the audiobook for Terminus (Fringe Worlds #1) has finally been released. (I'm sure I've mentioned it a couple of times before, but I'm really enjoying the process of releasing audio versions of my work and wish I had done it sooner.)

I'm currently working on the second book in the series and hope to have it completed soon.  In the meantime, I have promo codes that I can use to gift free copies of my audiobooks, so if anyone would like audio versions of Terminus or Infiltration (Kid Sensation #3), please let me know and provide me with your email address.  (As usual, I'll give out the codes on a first come, first served basis.) Also please indicate whether you prefer the US Audible or UK Audible Store.  Thanks again for your support.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Delusional Authors Follow-up

So, a while back I wrote about Delusional Authors and posted about a friend and the book they wanted to release. The book had all sorts of problems (eg, no editing, massive plot holes, etc.), but - despite being a hot mess - did indeed get published.  The results were interesting enough to warrant a follow-up.

First of all, I think I only mentioned it in one of the comments to that prior post, but my friend actually has an excellent storytelling voice.  However, they aren't willing to do all the things necessary to make a book fit for human consumption.  Moreover, many of the same issues (lack of editing, and so on) were present in the second book in the series, which also got published.

Anyway, the books were limping along, getting middling page reads and minimal sales - nothing to write home about, but enough to make the potential evident.  So I came up with a book promotion plan which my friend acquiesced to.  The promotion went moderately well, but afterwards, the book went screaming up the charts.

Over the next month, my friend's publishing income increased exponentially, and they actually broke into the Top 1000 authors on Amazon. Needless to say, there were a couple of absolutely scathing reviews (which was to be expected), but overall readers were very generous and gave the books a big thumbs-up.  The first book now has an average of 4 stars on Amazon, while the second book has 4.6.

I was as shocked as anyone by the results.  I mean, the books seriously needed a lot more work to even meet minimal publishable standards, in my opinion.  However, the results speak for themselves.  I attribute the success to a) the willingness of readers to embrace a good story despite technical flaws in the book, and b) the fact that the story itself was truly engaging.  (Also, the books do appear to have good covers and well-written blurbs.)  However, I wouldn't advise any author worth their salt to publish a book like this.  In my opinion, readers are simply far too demanding of quality, and - although you'll occasionally hear about someone having success with a book like this (and writing that would give an English Lit professor a heart attack) - this type of thing is clearly the exception rather than the rule.

Now, of course my friend is getting ready to wrap up Book 3 in the series and get the audiobook out for Book 1.  Needless, to say, I'm really curious to see what happens.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Cover Reveal: Mouse's Tale


So someone just asked if there was a cover yet for Mouse's Tale.  As a matter of fact, there is.  I guess I just haven't really thought much about a cover reveal for the book.  I've done it once or twice in the past, but I suppose I should make it a staple of new releases on a going-forward basis.  Anyway, since I aim to please:






As to the book itself, it's back from the editor and once again in my grubby little paws.  I intend to review it as quickly as possible and then get it to my formatting guy.  With any luck, it will probably be released some time in the next week.

Needless to say, I'm super-excited about the book and hope readers will enjoy it.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Excerpt from Efferus (Fringe Worlds #2)

So the Mouse book is in the hands of my editor now, and - as I've mentioned in a couple of comments on this blog - I anticipate publishing it this month.  In the meantime, I've turned my attention back to the second Fringe Worlds novel (working title Efferus), which  I actually started quite a while ago, but then pushed a little further back in the queue as the ideas for other books starting hitting me fast and hard.

For those who are interested, I will reaffirm my commitment to finishing the book and getting it published asap.  In the meantime, I thought it might be fun to publish the excerpt below. (The usual caveats apply: not yet edited, etc.)


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Captain Ward “Warhorse” Henry – commander of the Space Navy vessel Mantis Wing – was sitting at a table in his meeting room when a sturdy knock sounded at the door.
“Enter,” Henry said loudly. A moment later, the door slid open and Marine Lieutenant Arrogant Maker strode into the room, right on time for their meeting.
Maker marched towards the captain, stopping when he was about a foot away from the table and then snapped his hand up in a crisp salute.
Henry returned the gesture and then grumbled, “Be seated.”
The captain eyed Maker warily as the Marine sat down. Frankly speaking, Henry still hadn’t decided yet whether or not he liked the lieutenant, who had spent something like fifteen years as enlisted man and then a couple of years as a civilian before being commissioned as an officer. It wasn’t that the lieutenant was difficult to deal with – quite the opposite, in fact (although the same couldn’t be said of the Marines under his command). He’d been on his best behavior during the past two months – ever since that wretched debacle on Terminus, when Maker had almost blown up the Mantis.
  Somehow, despite a laundry-list of felonious acts – disobeying orders, constructing and detonating a banned weapon, disabling (and almost destroying) a Navy ship in the middle of combat, etcetera – Maker had escaped court-martial. Moreover, Maker’s original mission (which was to find an alien race called the Vacra) had been extended, with the crew of the Mantis being put at his disposal. In short, despite outranking Maker by a mile, Captain Henry (and his crew) was subject to the lieutenant’s commands.
A lot of senior officers would have chaffed at this arrangement, but not Henry.  This wasn’t his first rodeo; he’d actually had a number of engagements in which his ship was used to ferry lesser-ranked officers on various missions, and quite often the nature of those assignments put Henry at the beck and call of someone below his pay grade. Thus it was that he didn’t have any issue with the fact that Maker pretty much decided where they went and when.
Thankfully, Maker wasn’t a jerk about it. He didn’t try to lord his authority over Henry like several others had done in the past. Outside of dictates about his mission, Maker left the running of the ship to the captain. Moreover, he always showed Henry the respect and deference due his rank – such as when he’d entered the room and saluted a moment earlier.
Maker took a moment to get comfortable in his chair before asking, “Where would you like to begin, sir?”
“The woman,” Henry said. “She dislocated the shoulder of one of my engineers.”
“Permission to speak freely, sir?”
“Always,” Henry answered with a nod.
“Thank you, sir,” Maker said. He placed his hands on the table with fingers interlaced and leaned forward. “Sergeant Diviana is a highly-trained operative and an intelligence agent. Your engineer got fresh with her – touched her in an ungentlemanly fashion – and she reacted.”
Overreacted is more like it. Granted he shouldn’t have touched her, but he didn’t break anything.”
“Well, from this point forward he’ll understand that “No” means “No.” That said, I’ll remind Diviana that we’re all on the same side and ask that she respond less aggressively if the situation arises again.”
Henry harrumphed at that last comment and Maker smiled to himself. After the job Diviana did on that engineer, the odds of a recurrence were slim indeed.
“Moving on,” Henry said. “Apparently one of my crew had a run-in with the doctor assigned to your squad.”
“I wouldn’t describe it that way, since the doctor really didn’t do anything.”
“And yet my crewman ended up with almost every bone in his hand broken.”
“With all due respect, sir, the guy’s an idiot. He punched an augmented man in the jaw. Need I say more?” Maker asked with a shrug.
“I understand your point,” Henry replied. “But still, if that Augman provoked him into throwing that punch, goaded him in some way…”
“Then you should be thanking us for revealing his stupidity. Everybody knows that Augmen are tough as nails, and throwing a jab at one is like trying to punch a steel girder. In essence your crewman should have known better.  Trying to blame my doctor for a broken hand in this instance, just because he’s an Augman, is ridiculous.”
“Fine. I’ll make sure my crew knows that striking the good doctor with their bare hands is a bad idea.”
Maker frowned, not liking the implications of the captain’s statement, but before he could comment Henry moved on the next item on his agenda.
“Finally,” the captain said, “your companion.”
Maker smiled inwardly, pleased at Henry’s choice of words. Most people had a tendency to categorize Erlen – the exotic alien creature to whom the captain was referring – as a pet. It was a label Maker loathed (although Erlen himself didn’t seem to mind), and in the past he’d gotten into more than one altercation because of it.
Erlen was rarely far from his side, although these tête-à-têtes with Henry were an exception. Not because the captain had an issue with Erlen, per se, but more so because the alien’s presence served no purpose in the meeting. If a person – terrestrial or alien – had nothing to offer, Henry didn’t see the need to have them taking up space.
At the moment, the captain was launching into the current issue related to Erlen.
“It seems your friend,” he said, “had a brush with Lieutenant Kepler.”
Maker let out a slight groan. Kepler again.  That guy was constantly finding a way to be a thorn in his side.
“There was an incident,” Maker acknowledged, then began struggling to keep a grin off his face as he remembered the particulars.
“As I understand it, your alien confederate spat some kind of compound on Kepler’s shoes. It immediately glued him to the spot. It adhered so completely, in fact, that my crew had to cut away that section of flooring in order to remove Kepler’s footwear.”
Maker finally gave up on trying to contain the smile that had been slowly overtaking his features. “But on the bright side, there was no violence involved.”
“Maybe by your standards, but I consider any act that harms this vessel as violence with respect to my ship.”
“Yes, sir,” Maker acknowledged, sobering almost instantly. “I’ll make sure the incident isn’t repeated.”
“I think that would be best – unless you want your friend confined to quarters.”
“Understood.  Will there be anything else, sir?”
“No, we’re done. Dismissed.”

Maker stood, coming to attention. He gave the captain a snappy salute which was hastily returned, then turned and strode from the room.  




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